Yes. September. I can't believe it has already passed and is now October, then the next thing I know it will be Christmas, then I'll be 30. Ok... maybe not that quickly. But it feels like it sometimes!
Work
Ahh yes, work. Jobs are just great aren't they? Do you think dream jobs exist? Or do you have to create them yourself?Yes, I said something similar to that in my last post. I'm on the verge of a quarter-life crisis y'all. I don't know what to do. I'm praying and I'm being patient. No drastic or rash decision making, I'm just sitting, waiting, praying, following the footwork, sitting, waiting, praying...
Working from home and working alone is driving me crazy. Literally. I talk to my dog and the computer and I sing showtunes all day. Don't get me wrong, I love showtunes, but Chauncey is not very good at responding to me when I ask a question about coding.
If you're reading this and believe in sending good thoughts or prayers, please pray a simple prayer for a Higher Power to show me which career path I should take!
Personal
I struggled with writing this part in my blog. I'd written it over a week ago on a bad day and bad week when I was feeling frustrated and angry and feeling sorry for myself. I felt very isolated, which I more than likely brought upon myself. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, and last week, I had to feel sorry for myself. But then I was able to spend time with two very good friends this last week and it made me feel way better.If you feel like my emotions go up, down and all around, they do. I'm a very emotional person, and I have no problems with it. Sometimes life is great, sometimes life sucks, and that's how it works. I'd rather have a huge array of emotions than none whatsoever. What a boring life that would be!
On a brighter note, the State Fair was a fantastic opportunity! I really really loved making everything, the competitions, the cute ladies who sat around and watched with me. We talked and joked and they just kept on giving me admiration for doing so much at such a young age. They were incredibly inspiring! They were so supportive, and they were just ladies I met on the day of the competition that loved to do what I love to do: bake! The fact that I have two blue ribbons and a purple rosette just blows my mind! What a feat! I'm hoping that God opens up this door for more opportunities but we shall see.
Love
Love is unconditional. I am very grateful for that. I really just love Jose unconditionally. How often does that happen? Rarely. We have our differences, of course, but as Jose told me on our anniversary, we fill those holes for each other and help the other person see things they don't normally see. We are a great example of yin and yang.It's saddening to see unhealthy relationships last so long. I've seen it all my life and I strive to be unlike them. Another reason it's sad is because I've been in unhealthy relationships where there was no respect or love. It breaks my heart to see people just sit in the warm pile of poo they call a relationship because that's what they are comfortable doing. It also makes me sad to see people cling to their S.O. with the hopes that they will solve all problems. Or the fact that people fear being alone or independent. It's just really sad.
Experience, Strength, Hope
Opportunity has been a big word lately. It's been showing up everywhere. I mean it. Everywhere. Maybe it's a sign? All I know is that I'm not settling. I'm okay with where I am at just for today. I am taking it One Day at a Time. I'm not going to make rash decisions nor will I sit around feeling sorry for myself. I'm grateful I have this kind of life today. I wouldn't be who I am without it.That being said, I will not just sit around and accept that things aren't the way I want them to be. If I don't like it I will change it! Expect some big changes coming soon!
Puppy
This little goober is the most stubborn and smartest goober I have ever met. He knows things. He knows sit, lay down, shake and speak. But only when he feels like it. Drives me crazy!The most stressful thing about having a pet, especially a puppy, is not knowing what they need, when they need it, or what they want. I don't understand dog. He doesn't understand human. That really stresses me out. It's a slow process, but it's getting better. He's almost fully potty-trained, as well!
I have learned so much with this pup, it's emotional overwhelming. I've never in my 24 years of living had to take care of someone/thing else. It's always been all about me. Now, I have this adorable 5 month old puppy who relies on me to take care of him and love him and teach him to be a well-trained dog. That responsibility is overbearing sometimes and I feel like I'm not doing enough. But I've been told several times that I'm doing a great job and I'll just believe that they believe in me until I can do it myself.
Health + Exercise
I think it's time for a lifestyle change. I've been waking up with headaches lately, along with having constant back pain. I'm sure it's from sitting in an office chair all day. Or just sitting in general. Along with not eating well because I got tired of cooking but am too lazy to get food. Welcome to my life, haha. I also think it's time to start something new.I went to ashtanga yoga last week and it was amazing. I think this will be something that becomes consistent in my life. It was challenging, but not too challenging to where I felt discouraged. A perfect balance, if you will.
I'm also working on cutting dairy out of my life. This may or may not be impossible. Milk, yogurt, and butter aren't the problem, it's the cheese. My word, I love cheese so much. And if you know me, you definitely know that. So I'm working on cutting out all the cheese I eat. Which is a lot. But I've been eating some red meat again, so I'm not going vegan. I just don't think I need to ingest so much fatty dairy. Too much of a good/tasty thing is not a good thing, ya dig?
