2016 Reading Challenge!

Hello everyone! 

This past summer, I was having one of those days where I just thought to myself, "If I don't do something relaxing, I'm going to explode." So I filled my bathtub up with super hot water and a bath bomb, grabbed a book off my bookshelf, and locked myself in the bathroom for an hour. 

Well, that book happened to be Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin, and from there on I was hooked. I read all 5 books in the series A Song of Ice and Fire and then my soul shriveled up and I didn't know what to do with my life. I'm sure those of you who become obsessed with a book series get me. Some of you are reading this thinking that I've gone nuts. It happens. 

Anyways, after reading those, I had to take a bit of a mental break (that's 4,975 pages of mind blowing literature I just read in 3 months). 

If you are anything like me, you go through phases a lot. Usually I spend several months obsessed with a hobby, then I move on to another hobby, and then I'll pick back up an old hobby, and so on and so forth. Reading isn't necessarily a hobby for me; it's a way of life. I had taken a few months off after I read The Shining and Doctor Sleep (both by Stephen King) and then reread the Harry Potter series. I knew that these books had resparked my interest in picking reading up again, so I decided to participate in this 2016 Reading Challenge to get me out of my comfort zone of sci-fi/fantasy novels. 

My goal with this book list is to do a book review after I finish each one here on this blog. I want to be able to remember what I read instead of just reading with my eyes and not soaking in any information. 

A little background of my reading habits and my preferred genres:

1) I love sci-fi novels. Those are my jam. 

2) My first favorite author was Stephen King. The first book I ever read by him was The Dark Half; a book I found on my mom's bookshelf from a long time ago (which my dad claims was actually his??)

3) Up until Doctor Sleep, I've read about 90% of Stephen King's work. After Doctor Sleep I couldn't seem to keep up with how many books he was cranking out, so I've slowed down on purchasing his work. 

4) I love reading series of books. There's something about jumping into another world for thousands of pages and feeling like you experience life with them. I love it so much. 

5) My favorite series are, in no particular order, Harry Potter (duh)(J.K. Rowling), Lord of the Rings (J.R.R. Tolkien), A Song of Ice and Fire (George R.R. Martin), and The Dark Tower (Stephen King). 

6) Once I get sucked into a book series, then I will go find any book that relates to that series. Not a joke.

7) I also love classic literature. I own a bunch of classic books. Basically the stuff you are supposed to read in high school.

8) I tend to stray away from romance genres. Nicholas Sparks' work can burn. So dumb. Seriously. So. Dumb. 

9) I also tend to stray away from non-fiction. I spend enough time in the real world, I don't want to read about it. 

10) When I pick up a book, I don't like to put it down.

11) I will NEVER read more than one book at once. 

I've started working on my list already because I knew if I didn't get a head start on what I wanted to read in 2016 that I might not get started to begin with. Also, if you don't want to count but would like to know how many books there are: 41. If you'd like to do the challenge, the image of the list is below or you can follow the link at the bottom for the original article!

2016 Reading Challenge

Key: Book Picked Out // Book Not Yet Picked Out // Have Read

• A book based on a fairy tale - Cinder by Marissa Meyer
• A National Book Award Winner - Challenger Deep by Neal Shusterman
• A YA bestseller - Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
• A book you haven't read since high school - Slaughterhouse-five by Kurt Vonnegut
• A book set in your home state - The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
• A book translated into English - The Brothers Lionheart by Astried Lindgren
• A romance set in the future - Cress by Marissa Meyer
• A book set in Europe - The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins
• A book that's under 150 pages
• A New York Times bestseller - A Knight of Seven Kingdoms by George R.R. Martin
• A book that's becoming a movie this year
• A book recommended by someone you just met - The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick
• A self-improvement book - A New Pair of Glasses by Chuck C. 
• A book you can finish in a day
• A book written by a celebrity - Bossypants by Tina Fey
• A political memoir
• A book at least 100 years older than you - Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen
• A book that's more than 600 pages
• A book from Oprah's Book Club - As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
• A science-fiction novel - The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
• A book recommended by a family member - Paradise Lost by John Milton
• A graphic novel
• A book that is published in 2016
• A book with a protagonist who has your occupation - The Cheese Monkeys by Chip Kidd
• A book that takes place during Summer - Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury
• A book and its prequel - The Hobbit & The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien
• A murder mystery
• A book written by a comedian - Yes, Please by Amy Poehler
• A dystopian novel - Winter by Marissa Meyer
• A book with a blue cover
• A book of poetry
• The first book you see in a bookstore
• A classic from the 20th century - The Two Towers by J.R.R. Tolkien
• A book from the library
• An autobiography
• A book about a road trip
• A book about a culture you're unfamiliar with - Battle Royale by Koushun Takami
• A satirical book
• A book that takes place on an island
• A book that's guaranteed to bring you joy - The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien

The books suggestions highlighted in YELLOW are ones I haven't pick out yet. Do you have any suggestions on what I should read for those? If so, comment below or back over on my Facebook page!

Find the original post and this list here!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Hello guys! This post has been a long time coming!

I'm sure you guys don't sit on the edge of your seat waiting for me to post a blog update about my life, but I always like to keep the friends and family that care updated on some of the "bigger" things in life.

With that being said, I've enjoyed sticking to my blog format of the handful of categories I write about with a selection of photos thrown in. This post will be a little bit about the past several months and I will update with another blog post about my New Year's Resolutions after Christmas!

Work

Well, just in case you haven't noticed, I have a new job! I am now working at The University of Oklahoma in the Outreach department as a graphic designer for Marketing and Communications. Tongue twister, huh?

I have a few reasons from transitioning back into design and leaving the baking world behind. My number one reason was finances. Honestly, I couldn't afford to work at a bakery any more. I was barely keeping up with my bills and the fact that I've had to invest WAY too much money into my car the last several months has caused some serious financial distress. Needless to say, I had to get a job that I could make a living with. Two, working "my dream job" was causing health issues. I was constantly tired from waking up early or not getting enough sleep, I was pulling muscles left and right, I developed tendonitis in my hands, and my varicose veins were starting to look not so good. On top of these to problems, I was becoming depressed for a multitude of reasons that I won't get into, and all of these things combined was making my dream job become a nightmare. It was no longer worth it to expend so much energy while creating a deficit in my life.

My new job has been interesting! My work environment is not as intense as I expected (though we are coming up on the holidays, so I assume it might pick back up a little come spring). I am enjoying relaxing and not stressing about intense deadlines on a regular basis. My coworkers seem really nice, but the great thing is that I have my own office and I spend most of my time working in peace and quiet! I get to go home for lunch (hello money saver!!!) and see my pup and possibly Jose. Overall it seems like I'm going to do just fine here. I'm excited to see what projects I get to do!

Personal

While contemplating writing this blog, I had to stop to think about my personal life. I have been so busy the last two weeks that I haven't thought about it too much. I've spent the last few months struggling with an ongoing problem I have, which is learning to balance life and accept changes. I always get frustrated when things around me change, especially when I don't want them to. Once again, I've caught myself not understanding why I'm irritable, restless, and discontent when people aren't wanting to hang out, are too busy to talk, are (seemingly) ignoring my texts, etc. Why can't I just have the same friends for longer than a couple of years? Is this some kind of sign I'm not getting yet? Am I doing something wrong? Or is that just how life is? Seriously. If you're reading this and can relate or tell me why, please leave a comment.

On the other hand, I've been feeling a lot more introverted lately. I really don't want to talk to anyone, I force myself to hang out or go do things when I don't feel like it, and I feel like I've been going nonstop for weeks and weeks and weeks. I'm ready to slow down and relax some. I don't feel like I should just constantly be on the move and never have time to sit and home and be lazy, or just snuggle with my dog in my pjs.

Ironically, this two things are probably related. My lack of friends has me feeling alone and isolated, once again leaving me to not want to do anything ever because who cares. No one. Pity party for 1, your table is ready! Alright, time to move on.

One major thing that happened this year was getting a new job. I had quite a bit of anxiety about getting a new job. I felt despair, fear, uncertainty, lost, angry, confused. I just didn't know what to do. In September, I applied for a job in Dallas. Not many of y'all knew about that. I had so much anxiety about moving to a new place (on top of some other issues I was having that I will not indulge in) but I felt like I was being given a doorway to walk through. So, I applied, had a phone interview, then got invited to the office in Dallas for an in-person interview. I was excited and full of fear. You guys, I don't normally just apply for jobs willy-nilly and think to myself, "Well! If I get the job, I'll just move!" I've become so comfortable with Norman but I knew I needed to make a big change soon. Right when I finally accepted that I might just have to move out of state, I was told I didn't get the job.

Oddly enough, I felt at peace. I truly felt like God had been nudging me quietly, telling me that I needed to trust Him and just do what I felt was the right thing to do, not what I wanted to do. What I wanted was to stop feeling so uncomfortable, but the idea of moving was so uncomfortable that I just felt like that was what I was supposed to do. I don't grow when life is calm and I'm content. I grow when God is teaching me lessons through trial and error.

Needless to say, I didn't get that job. It did, however, give me to determination to keep applying for jobs in the Oklahoma City and Norman area. It wasn't easy. I applied to dozens and dozens of jobs and waited impatiently for a response. Just when I thought I would give up and try again after Christmas, I got an email requesting me to interview at OU! In the end, God wanted me right where He thinks I should be. At home. :)

Experience, Strength, and Hope

I had to come back to this paragraph because I felt like I didn't have anything to share. Who am I kidding? I always have something to say. (Did you think I wasn't aware of that? Oh, I totally am.)

I've had an eye-opening moment. Usually I don't like these moments and I try to ignore them because it means that I'm seeing something that I need to change within myself. Here is what happened:

I was talking with a friend about some issue they were having. It was an issue that had come up, no joke, over 5 years ago. I sat and listened. I empathized. I related. Then I realized. Oh, my, gosh. I do that. I talk about things that bother me that happened forever ago. I find no solution. I just complain. That's all I do. I gossip about the people that wrong me make a decision I don't agree with and complain about it. Does that ACTUALLY change anything? No, of course not! Do I really want to spend years letting something bother me that I can't or won't do anything about? Good grief, no. No, no, NO.

I've noticed this a lot. A LOT. About several different people. Do I really think gossiping about someone is going to make them change? I hope not. Would I change if I heard someone gossiping about me? No, I would be hurt more than anything. I need to stop. I need to quit caring what other people do. If it didn't affect me, who the hell cares? I shouldn't. It's none of my business.

Puppy

As you can see, our family is back to just having one fur baby. In the end, after 6 months of trying and failing, I had to make the decision to find Bronson a new home. It was not an easy thing for us, I was afraid of so many things that could happen because of that decision, but my mental health was deteriorating due to not being able to properly work with Bronson. I had a lot of issues with him being submissive and fearful, urinating in the house, and running away. I didn't want to get a knock on the door saying he'd been hit by a car or him becoming so fearful he would get aggressive with me or even Chauncey. Last time I checked, he was happily living on a farm in the Norman area, his owner a single male (perfect for Bronson, he's not a fan of ladies) with lots of land to run and play on. There may come a day where we look into getting a puppy again, but Jose and I have had serious conversations about what kind of breed and when the best time for that would be, and we are looking into fostering for the local pug rescue to get a feel of having two little dogs again. We'll see where that leads us!

Love Life

5 years later, and Jose and I are still kicking it! I've been doing a lot of reflecting and observing lately and I hope that Jose and I are a good example of a happy healthy relationship. That doesn't mean that we never disagree on things or that we never get frustrated with each other, it just means that we accept each other for who we are and love each other unconditionally. I want what is best for Jose and what is best for myself and I hope that that makes us a better couple. I always admire and respect relationships where each person is an equal. Neither one is less than the other, and that both are respectful to each other.

My goal is to always respect Jose. I know there are times where I feel like I don't get enough attention from him, that he's never home enough, that he doesn't do enough, blah blah blah. There are reasons that I often overlook. When he's not home, he is either at work or at Jiu Jitsu. If he is at work he is making money to pay the bills, to take me out to dinner, making extra money so if something happens and I'm in financial distress he can help me (like my car problems). If he's at the gym, he is pursuing his dream. He's training to fulfill his dream of teaching Jiu Jitsu. Do I really think he should give up his dream to be at home so he can sit on the couch next to me? That's just ridiculous. When I'm complaining because "he doesn't do enough" do I ever consider that he's exhausted from working 12 hour shifts and training part-time? Nope, sure don't. Sometimes I can't believe how selfish I can be. I've been trying really hard to focus on these aspects of Jose, how hard working and determined he is. And you know what? This year, he won Student of the Year at the BJJ gym he attends because of those very reasons. I'm so proud of him for that.

In Conclusion

I've had a weird year. I've learned a lot, I've let go a lot, I've held on a lot. I'm human, I have my moments, but I'm learning and trying my best to just accept things where they are and move on. Sitting around moping and day dreaming isn't going to get me anywhere in life. I need to be active, aware, and present in my life. That's my goal.

February 2015 - Detaching

Hello all!

It hasn't been too long since I've posted a blog but I felt the desire to write and get some things off my chest. I hope that my experience can help you relate and also give you hope. But of course, you kind of need to know what I'm talking about, so let's jump right in.

Lately all I've done when I get on Facebook is one of two things:
1) I compare myself with others (i.e. "Oh look, they got engaged after dating 9 months… that's great.")
or
2) I judge people for being stupid (i.e. "They believe in what? Are you kidding? That's scientifically proven wrong (or right)!"

Honestly, I'm sick of hearing myself being so judgmental, whether it be out of jealousy or out of arrogance. So I think I'm going to detach.

I'm constantly seeing FB users post photos of all the awesome things they're doing (and I'm guilty as well) but for the only reason it feels like to me is to put on show to boast about how awesome their lives are.

I've read tons and tons of articles about this effect. Of feeling less than because of our comparing tendencies when we log on to social media. Though I can always tell when a photo is staged or a status seems EXTRA fake happy, it's hard for me to put that in perspective and remember that I'm doing just as good as everyone else (or maybe even better).

On top of that, I don't want to be that person. Always posting photos of my pretty dogs or how happy I am with my face squashed up next to my boyfriends, perhaps my dinner was extra super delicious. These cute fuzzy slippers? You gotta see them. Oh, I made 80 billion cupcakes today, too. On top of all that, I decided to paint/bake/crochet/read an entire book.

I've attempted "Honesty Posts" before and got a backlash from what seemed like my entire friends list and I was tired of hearing people tell me they were worried about me. I'm not depressed, but I am real, and sometimes my being real consists of me lounging on the couch in my pjs at 3 in the afternoon with my snoozing pups. Sometimes my being real consists of me getting frustrated with things I can't control. Sometimes my being real consists of me being overly happy about the silliest thing, like buying cute fuzzy slippers.

But I forget about being real when I start to compare myself, my insides, to people's Facebook feeds. I think that I must not have it all together if I'm not 100% happy all the time. It sounds silly doesn't it?

What I'm learning is that I have GOT to stop comparing myself to others. It kills my self-esteem and my confidence and leaves me feeling doubtful and like a complete failure.

My goal this next year (I'm tacking another one on my list) is to learn to stop comparing myself, to stop comparing my successes and failures to another's, and to learn to be okay with where I am, and be grateful for what I have today, whether it be a good day or not, my worst day now was better than my best day 6 years ago.

January 2015

Hi all! Welcome to another blog post!

I'm a little late this year. I wanted to do a recap of 2014 and a New Year's Resolution for 2015, but it's February 1st and I'm just not going to do it. 

HOWEVER, I'll express some of the things I've been feeling/dealing with lately with my typical format. In advance, thanks for reading and I hope you can relate! 

Work

I've been working more at Gigi's than I have since I started. I hit overtime this last week for the first time in a while. Work is interesting because not only am I working my dream job, but I firmly believe that God has put me in a position to learn how to work with people on a daily basis. Coworkers and clients alike, I'm learning to deal with… well… people. I haven't done that in such a long time, because working at Boyd Street was like working behind an electronic mask. On top of that, working at Gigi's where we have only 7 employees is like working with family, and that can be incredibly difficult. Not because of anything they do, but because of how I react. I try really REALLY hard to not bring my personal problems into work, and sometimes I fail miserably. I also try really REALLY hard to be patient with people who are also dealing with life, and sometimes I fail miserably at that, too. But what's really neat is that I can accept myself for who I am and realize that I make mistakes and can make living amends to whomever I have harmed, and I can also accept others for who they are, and I get to do that over and over and over and over again! God gives me a second chance and a third chance, and a thousand chances to keep trying to be a better person. Thank Him for that!

Personal

Hmmm. My personal life has been weird. I struggle with January, it's one of my least favorite months. I tried going into this month thinking, "Let's do this!" and it kind of flopped. It seemed like every single thing went wrong but I realized two major things about myself this month that I haven't seen before. 

First, I had begun to rest on my laurels. I was doing great with everything, life was becoming balanced and I was starting to think I had done something to deserve this, then BAM… I began to be humbled. I made some mistakes at work, I made some mistakes at home, and it felt like I was making mistakes everywhere, but instead of seeing what my part was, I blamed everyone else. I'm not saying that everything that happened was 100% my fault, but I had a part in everything and refused to see it because I thought I couldn't make mistakes. I have been humbled in many ways these last 6 weeks and while I didn't like it at first, I'm starting to understand that this is how my Higher Power wants me to be on a regular basis. He wants me to be teachable and I can't do that if I refused to be taught because I think I know it all. 

Second, I decided that I could handle more. This kind of ties into the first reason, but also adds to it. Like I decided that I needed a second job and a second dog. Why in the world I thought I could handle both while one of the busiest periods of the year is coming up, I don't know, but I did. I've apparently decided to test my own patience and am finding that I have made a very bad decision. Now, I've accepted my responsibility and will continue to handle my second job and my second dog as best as I can.

Experience, Strength, Hope

On top of all the new things in my life, I also decided to help teenagers. Seriously, sometimes I think I've lost my mind. Maybe God wants me to remember what I should be grateful for and when I'm feeling ungrateful or "bored" he lets me make my own decisions and let my life get chaotic and then I'll come running back to Him apologizing for thinking I know best. I know He never leaves, but when He realizes that I'm beginning to think that I know best, He'll let me wreck my own ship before He helps me with my sails again. 

Back to the teenagers. Once a week I'm helping teens deal with the same things I dealt with growing up. Some weeks it's great, some weeks it's nuts, just like a typical teenage life. I know that I'll be grateful for this opportunity sometime later. 

Another thing that I'm working on right now is remember that life isn't always rainbows and butterflies (… it's compromise that moves us alooooong (name that song)). I think life goes through phases, and I know a few friends that believe the same thing. Sometimes we go through rainy days so when the sun comes out we remember how great things are, and when the sun has been out a long time, it rains so we remember where we come from. I've learned this last year that I can be okay when it rains and I can be grateful when the sun shines. Right now, I'm okay and I know it'll be better. 

Puppies

Yes, the title has become pluralized. I must be nuts. Seriously. I. Must. Be. Nuts. We have a new dog named Bronson. I'm sure you know this by now. I am struggling hard with him, which you might know as well. Bronson is different. He has a personality that I have never seen in a dog before. He is so extremely submissive that it drives me crazy. He pees when he's nervous, he doesn't like to look up, he's scared of everything and everyone. If a leaf crunches while we're walking, he won't pee or poop. He's done and is ready to hide inside the house again. I'm not going to lie about it either. I've lost my temper with him several times. Sometimes I do nothing at all and he pees. I refuse to give up yet, it's only been a month since we've had him and I'm not going to just throw in the towel (though I will throw it on the ground to clean up the pee). 

Instead of just hoping and wishing for things to be different, I'm having to make accommodations with what we are working with right now. I cannot get mad at all. Seriously. Cannot get mad or scold him for anything. This, apparently, ruins his confidence and will cause him to submissively urinate. Doesn't that sound fun? If you know who I am, you know I'm an emotional being. I like to be loud when I'm happy and loud when I'm angry, and now I get to learn to not react to his accidents. It's not going to be easy, but I have faith that this is another mission from God. He has given me another lesson to teach me to be humble and to be teachable. I'm not very happy about it, to be perfectly honest, but I'm determined to work on myself and to work on Bronson. 

Love Life

Right now, I never ever see Jose and we barely get to spend any time together. It puts a strain on my heart because I'd like to see the person I live with more than maybe 15 minutes a day while we are transferring between home and work. I'm going to be honest about that, too. It's another strain that we have this second dog and I have this second job. It's not easy, but I'm hoping it will pay off in the end. 

Summary of My Thoughts

A simple summary is this: God is testing me and my faith. He is testing my humility and my willingness. He is testing my patience. He is not doing any of this to be cruel, this I am sure of. He wants me to see what he can do in my life and he want me to realize that I cannot be self-sufficient. He wants me to remember that I must rely on a Power great than myself in order to live a life that is in the path of His will. It's easy for my to forget these things and to rest on my laurels, and when I slip and begin to think that I've got it all taken care of, I'm given reminders regularly that I cannot do it alone. 

August Blog Challenge - Part 2 of 4

Good Monday evening, all! I am continuing my blog post challenge today, as a part 2 of the 4 part series on a little bit about me. You can check out the 1st one HERE.

1. What's in your purse?

Everything! I've got my wallet, my coin purse, lotion (dry hands are gross), my rx sunglasses, a notebook and pen, a little zipper pouch I made containing makeup and other girly things like perfume and safety pins, as well as lipstick, gum, my phone, car keys, and usually a few crumpled up grocery lists.

2. What's your best physical feature?

Good question! I would have to say that I really appreciate my facial structure and my waistline. No particular reasons, except I find them to be the best physical aspects I have. Though I am sure other people would note other favorite features. I'm also quite fond of my height!

Baking a cheesecake!

Chauncey

Gryffindor all the way!

3. List 15 of your favorite things.

1) Harry Potter 2) Lord of the Rings 3) books 4) pugs 5) reading 6) baking 7) eating 8) fashion 9) my jelli bean necklace 10) blue jeans that fit 11) tiffany blue and lavender 12) Jose 13) spending quality time with friends 14) stripes and polka dots and red plaid flannel 15) brown leather 16) Pinterest 17) Chauncey 18) fellowship 19) recently: lipstick 20) photography

4. What's inside your fridge?

A ton of juice and water, some leafy greens, guacamole and salsa, turkey bacon, eggs, cheese, tomatoes, and lots of condiments.

5. Timeline of your day.

9:30 crawled out of bed, washed face, walked the dog, made breakfast for the boyfriend and myself.
10:30 knitted all morning
2:00 ran to the mall and the grocery store
5:15 started blogging!

Rio de Janeiro

6. What's at the top of your bucket list?

Travel to Europe and South America.

My daddy and I at graduation!

7. What is your most proud moment?

Graduating college!

8. What do you collect?

Thimbles! Also unofficially, I like Pug-related items, but as I'm super picky about which ones I buy, I wouldn't consider it a collection. Though I do have a pug tattoo...

9. A difficult time in your life.

There have been many periods of time where I found myself to be struggling in a whirlwind of emotions and feelings. One time in particular, though I cannot pinpoint it to one specific reason, is the year my mom and step-dad got divorced. There were two sides to me at that time. Relief that my mom was strong enough and brave enough to finally put her foot down and get her kids and herself to safety; but another side of me was grief-stricken that I would no longer have a home with a father and mother and siblings. This period of time was horrific, so much arguing between my mom and step-dad, arguing between my mom and us kids, arguing between me and my siblings. I remember feeling very frustrated and lost. I thought that when they finally got divorced, there would be peace in our home. There was so much trauma, however, that there wasn't going to be peace for a really long time. I struggled in school because my mind was so busy thinking about my home, I moved from home and felt like I had abandoned my siblings and mom, my grades declined, my health declined, I stopped talking to people, I had no feeling of hope or happiness, and I just became a very sad and lost little girl at 19 years old.

Luckily, I've managed to successfully pull out of that time with a lot of help from friends. I don't live with my mom and siblings anymore, and I hope my siblings aren't resentful towards me for leaving. The only way I can do good today and love my mom and brother and sister unconditionally, and hope that their journey in life is good. My mom and I have a very close relationship today, and we text and call each other often, which I am truly grateful for.

Cookies I made at work! So many!

10. Your 10 favorite foods.

1) Mexican food 2) Pizza 3) White gravy with fried chicken or buttermilk biscuits (or both) 4) Pasta 5) Sushi 6) Thai Pineapple Curry 7) Cheese in general 8) Bread in general 9) Cookies 10) Pie

Thunder Up!

11. The best thing to happen this year.

Getting a job at a bakery! Words cannot describe how much I love working at a bakery. It is my dream job, and I'm so grateful this situation has landed in my open arms. There were multiple occasions before this year where I had been offered to work at other bakeries. For multiple reasons, I never took on any other job at a bakery. I know God had a plan all along, and I'm glad I didn't force my will into making it what I wanted to be. I've heard it many times, and I truly believe this saying: If I would've gotten everything I wanted, I would have seriously sold myself short.

12. Your dream job.

See the answer to number 11! I'm doing it!

July Blog Challenge - Part 1 of 4

Hello all, this month instead of writing about the same ol' stuff about my life, I've decided to split it up into 4 parts and write a bit of new info for you to read.

1. Introduction and a recent photo.

Hello! I am Kelli! I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a nerd, and that I love Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and LEGO video games.

2. Meaning of your blog name.

Living the Life I Want kind of speaks for itself. I know when I first started this blog it was named something else, but then I deleted a bunch of old (and embarrassing) posts and decided to focus on the good as much as I can. I want to be able to live the life I want, not the life others want for me.

3. Why do I blog?

I blog mostly so people can see what's going on in my life. I don't post daily status updates about all the crazy thoughts I have, the spiritual journey I'm on, or what's going on personally. If people want to read my blog, then that's where they can see what I've been up to, but they're not forced to see it on Facebook. I also blog so people in my life might have a chance to relate to my experiences, or maybe someone will speak up and say that they've had the same experience as me. I like to be able to reach out and share what my life is like so people don't feel so alone or so different from everyone else.

4. Your favorite 5 blogs.

Easy! I'll try to choose others besides just baking ones (even though they're my absolute favs!)
A) Sally's Baking Addiction (very talented and enthusiastic, like me!)

B) Style Me Pretty (GORGEOUS photography, I can't stop looking!)

C) The Kitchn (A wonderful and very helpful blog about all kinds of kitchen-related things. Everything from kitchen redesign, kitchen tips, science of baking, etc.)

D) Ink Pug (You know I have to have something pug related! This artist is amazing, and I love all of the illustrations!)

E) Sweet Lavender Bake Shoppe (another favorite, her photography is beautiful and she just does a little bit of everything like me, she's also very open and honest with her readings, which I admire!)

5. Best advice I ever got.

I have gotten so much good advice over the years I can't even begin to pick just one piece. But I think all of these pieces of advice narrow down to the same idea: God is in control. If I can just remember that He is in control of literally everything ever, then I can really live life the way I was supposed to. Of course, I have to also remember I am human and won't do this perfectly, but I think as long as I work towards trusting His will at all times, that's all that matters.

6. Something for your kids to know.

I don't have kids (obviously) but a future note to my children who will probably never read this or know I had a blog, and might not even know what a blog is: Just know that I will do my best being a good mommy. That's all I want to be to my children; a good mother who loves unconditionally. Will I be that mom? I hope so.

7. What am I currently reading?

I started Wuthering Heights like two months ago and could not seem to get started with it. Recently I've been on a Jane Austen kick, and absolutely looooove classic literature in general. Along with Grimm's Fairytales (a book Jose gave me a while ago), that's about all I've been reading. I am looking at purchasing the Science of Baking (nerd alert) so I'm excited about that investment.

8. 20 facts about you.

I am left-handed. I love Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings and often make jokes that reference one or the other which most people don't get. I have a pug named Chauncey and he's the cutest dog in all the land. I have a nose piercing. I have two tattoos; a breast cancer ribbon and a pug illustration. I was born (as in: came out of the womb) with dark brown eyes, however, my eyes are slowly turning hazel (weird!). I love love love coffee. I'm obsessed with color and patterns. I collect thimbles. I'm a great baker but when it comes to cooking I am only good at Mexican food and soul food. I was born in Fort Carson, Colorado. I have worn glasses since I was 9. I can never find pants that fit because I'm either too tall, my waist is smaller than my hips, or a combo of both. I like to knit, sew, and do other crafty things. My favorite colors are robin egg blue and lilac. When I was young I wanted to be a Disney princess so bad I'd go around singing to birds hoping they would come sing with me (this is not a joke). I love food photography and am obsessed with it. I'm not a fan of the color pink, yet I have a pink tattoo, work in a bakery who's main color is pink, and when I buy pink things it's for Susan G. Komen. I love to make lists, and I even make lists for lists. My favorite animal is a giraffe because they're tall like me!

9. Your favorite quotes.

A new favorite: "Never miss a chance to shut up." - Will Rogers
A long-time favorite: "Embrace the current season of your life." - Gabrielle Blair
A few more simple ones: "It is what it is." "Arrange whatever pieces comes your way."
One more: "Faith in God includes faith in His timing." - Neal A. Maxwell

10. What are you afraid of.

There are a lot of things I'm afraid of. There are more natural things like spiders and tornadoes, etc. I've also, as of late, have become irrationally afraid of dying. I'm not sure where this stems from, and it's nothing I can really control. I become incredibly anxious when I think about dying before I live the life I want to live. I don't want to go out of this world without having made an impact on someone's life or lives. I don't want to leave without experiencing everything I can experience. I know, though, that God takes us when He thinks we need to go, so I have to remember that when the times comes, there's a reason for it. It's just a scary feeling to not have control over something so big, but it's also a reminder that I'm not in control of something so powerful as death itself.

11. Your pet hates.

Does this mean the things my pet does that I hate? I used to get worked up about what my dog did, but I've mostly let go of these habits that pugs have. One thing that can irritate me very easily is when he has to smack his lips to swallow water or has drooled in his sleep. It's hilarious but if I'm tired or irritable, it can drive me nuts! Other than that and him cleaning his butt in front of guests, he's just a dog with doggy habits.

12. What are your worst habits?

a) Talking too much is one of the habits I have that annoys even myself. I'm working on listening more but it is what it is. I've always been one to talk more, and I've learned that I can't beat myself up about it anymore. b) Over-commiting is another bad one. I tend to think I have plenty of time to do things when I really don't. It's not because I don't want to disappoint anyone, it's mainly because I have a really bad perception of time. I'm working on that, too. c) Trying to act cool is another one I'm working on. This causes me problems, because in order to "act cool" I tend to be very catty and rude. I'm getting tired of being so sassy, so I'm working on just shrugging things off when someone says something sarcastic instead of coming back with a mean retort. d) Getting angry over other people's actions. Truthfully it's none of my business what people do, but I get worked up about little things, and then before I know it, I hate humans and don't want to talk to anyone ever again. I am working on accepting others for who they are in their entirety and just being happy with life. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. :)

Thanks for reading, feel free to respond with a similar experience, or just something you liked about this post! I always love reader/writer interaction!

Mid-April Update

Hello all! A little mid-month update for you!

Work

As you all saw last week, I've been hired on as a full time baker and decorator at Gigi's Cupcakes here in Norman. I love love love my job so much that waking up at 5 am doesn't even bother me. As a matter of fact, this upcoming weekend I have to wake up at 4 am to be at work by 5 am, and I'm still not upset. It's Easter weekend, so it's going to be craaazy! All I need is some Red Bull...

On a sad note, I am no longer working for Boyd Street. I'm sitting here in the office on my last day, having finished everything I need to do to transfer responsibility over to the new EIC. It's surreal that I am leaving. I feel like I grew up with Boyd Street, starting back in '11 as an unpaid intern hired by Jake to design ads a couple of times a week. I have these thoughts of wanting to keep connected to the magazine but after several weeks of consideration I've decided that my sole focus needs to be on baking and baking alone. I work full time for Gigi's, and when I get home, I bake for my blog and for custom orders through my blog, so I really don't have much time for anything else. It's one of those bitter-sweet moments for me: leaving something that I put so much effort into to begin something that has been a life-long dream. I seriously love what I do at Gigi's and cannot be happier. I look forward to it every single day! I'm super excited about what the future holds.

Personal

This will connect a few of my topics, but lately I've realized how grateful I am to be making new friends. My co-workers are all hoots, and I love the ladies I bake with, the ladies who work in the front, and the guys who work there, too. We all get along well and have similar personalities. It is SO nice to find other people who get giddy over baking something new!

On top of those friends, I have been focusing on meeting and strengthening new friendships of people I've known for a while. It's been a great and re-energizing opportunity to spend time with others who want to be in the same spiritual place as I want to be. Over the last few months I had been trying to hang on to friendships that were dying, and I felt like I was surrounded by miserable people. I caught myself sinking into the same kind of misery even though my life was good, so I decided that in order to make changes within myself, that I had to make some changes around me. It's astounding how much a "change in scenery" can make a difference in your attitude. 

Experience, Strength, Hope

As stated in my personal section, I had been hanging onto friendships that were dwindling. The last several months, I'd had a very sassy attitude with people, was snappy and becoming an anti-joy to be around. After a weekend women's retreat, I had become disgusted with my attitude and knew I needed to change something. Upon several sessions of meditation and writing, I had realized that I had come to the point where my past behavior could no longer stay and that I had to make some changes if I wanted to keep progressing. I am grateful I noticed my bad patterns and that they were stemming from my surrounding environment. I had been around people who were being negative about any and everything and I was taking on the same kind of attitude. What do I have that requires me to be negative? Absolutely nothing. My life is good, even great most days, but I'm a person who absorbs other people's emotions. So I've made a concerted effort to change my surroundings to be more positive which has made my stress levels and bad-mood levels drop tremendously.

Puppy(s)

My sweet little puppy will be 1 on May 1st! I cannot believe it! Yes, he has a birthday, it was on his AKC registration papers. We will be celebrating with home-made doggie treats and a birthday photo shoot. I can't believe how big he has gotten. It's like having an actual baby sometimes.

As most of you also know, I fostered a pug from Homeward Bound Pug Rescue. It was quite an experience. For a while, I've been exclaiming how I wanted a second dog. I read somewhere that getting a second dog as a "pet" for your first dog was a bad idea. I remembered that statement very clearly because that's exactly what I had been thinking of the second dog as. It may sound horrible, but my intentions were not to ignore or place importance over one or the other. It was so that my dog wouldn't be so bored all the time. So I decided, very irrationally, to apply to foster a dog. 3 days after starting my new full-time job. Needless to say that it was a very stressful two weeks for me and probably also Jose.

We got to foster Yoda, a sweet young black male pug. He was a cutie pie, but didn't even know "Sit" or "Bed." Chauncey and Yoda loved each other, though, and played all day, every day. I taught Yoda a few simple commands in preperation of him being adopted. My experience with fostering was not easy, but I was glad I could help out the pug rescue, and I know that if Yoda would've stuck around a few more weeks, it would've eventually been pretty easy to have two dogs. Fostering is hard emotionally and physically. It's like having a new puppy, except they're fully grown. When a dog comes to a new home, they aren't used to your surroundings or your daily schedule, just like a puppy. So you have to be patient with them, and teach them where to go potty, when it's time to eat, when it's time for bed, etc. Yoda caught on pretty quick, but we only had him for two weeks, which is definitely not enough time with a foster to get them acclimated to your home. Yoda got adopted by a very sweet woman and man who owned another black pug. They were excited to get him, so I hope his future will be nothing but lap naps and lots of treats!

Health & Exercise

I miss yoga. I have not been able to make it as often as I used to due to my new schedule, but I am hoping to get a new schedule set up so I'm making it twice a week again.

I know I've said it a million times, but I am considering changing my eating habits. I want to do two different elimination diets for at least a month each to see if I feel better when I'm not eating lactose or gluten. I'm sure overall it would help to cut back on both, but I think my energy levels have changed and need to switch from burning carbs to burning fat (like we are supposed to). I'm well aware that humans, specifically humans after 2-3 years of age, shouldn't even be ingesting dairy, but goodness gracious... cheese exists. I just can't help it. I could skip all other dairy except cheese (and butter when baking). Gluten, however, is a different story. All I eat is bread and pasta (I think I'm Italian, but can't find an ancestry tied back to it). So I want to see if changing my diet from all-carbs to something a little more natural will help my energy levels.

Anyways, that's it for now. Thanks for reading! Oh, and one more funny photo.