August Blog Challenge - Part 2 of 4

Good Monday evening, all! I am continuing my blog post challenge today, as a part 2 of the 4 part series on a little bit about me. You can check out the 1st one HERE.

1. What's in your purse?

Everything! I've got my wallet, my coin purse, lotion (dry hands are gross), my rx sunglasses, a notebook and pen, a little zipper pouch I made containing makeup and other girly things like perfume and safety pins, as well as lipstick, gum, my phone, car keys, and usually a few crumpled up grocery lists.

2. What's your best physical feature?

Good question! I would have to say that I really appreciate my facial structure and my waistline. No particular reasons, except I find them to be the best physical aspects I have. Though I am sure other people would note other favorite features. I'm also quite fond of my height!

Baking a cheesecake!

Chauncey

Gryffindor all the way!

3. List 15 of your favorite things.

1) Harry Potter 2) Lord of the Rings 3) books 4) pugs 5) reading 6) baking 7) eating 8) fashion 9) my jelli bean necklace 10) blue jeans that fit 11) tiffany blue and lavender 12) Jose 13) spending quality time with friends 14) stripes and polka dots and red plaid flannel 15) brown leather 16) Pinterest 17) Chauncey 18) fellowship 19) recently: lipstick 20) photography

4. What's inside your fridge?

A ton of juice and water, some leafy greens, guacamole and salsa, turkey bacon, eggs, cheese, tomatoes, and lots of condiments.

5. Timeline of your day.

9:30 crawled out of bed, washed face, walked the dog, made breakfast for the boyfriend and myself.
10:30 knitted all morning
2:00 ran to the mall and the grocery store
5:15 started blogging!

Rio de Janeiro

6. What's at the top of your bucket list?

Travel to Europe and South America.

My daddy and I at graduation!

7. What is your most proud moment?

Graduating college!

8. What do you collect?

Thimbles! Also unofficially, I like Pug-related items, but as I'm super picky about which ones I buy, I wouldn't consider it a collection. Though I do have a pug tattoo...

9. A difficult time in your life.

There have been many periods of time where I found myself to be struggling in a whirlwind of emotions and feelings. One time in particular, though I cannot pinpoint it to one specific reason, is the year my mom and step-dad got divorced. There were two sides to me at that time. Relief that my mom was strong enough and brave enough to finally put her foot down and get her kids and herself to safety; but another side of me was grief-stricken that I would no longer have a home with a father and mother and siblings. This period of time was horrific, so much arguing between my mom and step-dad, arguing between my mom and us kids, arguing between me and my siblings. I remember feeling very frustrated and lost. I thought that when they finally got divorced, there would be peace in our home. There was so much trauma, however, that there wasn't going to be peace for a really long time. I struggled in school because my mind was so busy thinking about my home, I moved from home and felt like I had abandoned my siblings and mom, my grades declined, my health declined, I stopped talking to people, I had no feeling of hope or happiness, and I just became a very sad and lost little girl at 19 years old.

Luckily, I've managed to successfully pull out of that time with a lot of help from friends. I don't live with my mom and siblings anymore, and I hope my siblings aren't resentful towards me for leaving. The only way I can do good today and love my mom and brother and sister unconditionally, and hope that their journey in life is good. My mom and I have a very close relationship today, and we text and call each other often, which I am truly grateful for.

Cookies I made at work! So many!

10. Your 10 favorite foods.

1) Mexican food 2) Pizza 3) White gravy with fried chicken or buttermilk biscuits (or both) 4) Pasta 5) Sushi 6) Thai Pineapple Curry 7) Cheese in general 8) Bread in general 9) Cookies 10) Pie

Thunder Up!

11. The best thing to happen this year.

Getting a job at a bakery! Words cannot describe how much I love working at a bakery. It is my dream job, and I'm so grateful this situation has landed in my open arms. There were multiple occasions before this year where I had been offered to work at other bakeries. For multiple reasons, I never took on any other job at a bakery. I know God had a plan all along, and I'm glad I didn't force my will into making it what I wanted to be. I've heard it many times, and I truly believe this saying: If I would've gotten everything I wanted, I would have seriously sold myself short.

12. Your dream job.

See the answer to number 11! I'm doing it!

July Blog Challenge - Part 1 of 4

Hello all, this month instead of writing about the same ol' stuff about my life, I've decided to split it up into 4 parts and write a bit of new info for you to read.

1. Introduction and a recent photo.

Hello! I am Kelli! I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a nerd, and that I love Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and LEGO video games.

2. Meaning of your blog name.

Living the Life I Want kind of speaks for itself. I know when I first started this blog it was named something else, but then I deleted a bunch of old (and embarrassing) posts and decided to focus on the good as much as I can. I want to be able to live the life I want, not the life others want for me.

3. Why do I blog?

I blog mostly so people can see what's going on in my life. I don't post daily status updates about all the crazy thoughts I have, the spiritual journey I'm on, or what's going on personally. If people want to read my blog, then that's where they can see what I've been up to, but they're not forced to see it on Facebook. I also blog so people in my life might have a chance to relate to my experiences, or maybe someone will speak up and say that they've had the same experience as me. I like to be able to reach out and share what my life is like so people don't feel so alone or so different from everyone else.

4. Your favorite 5 blogs.

Easy! I'll try to choose others besides just baking ones (even though they're my absolute favs!)
A) Sally's Baking Addiction (very talented and enthusiastic, like me!)

B) Style Me Pretty (GORGEOUS photography, I can't stop looking!)

C) The Kitchn (A wonderful and very helpful blog about all kinds of kitchen-related things. Everything from kitchen redesign, kitchen tips, science of baking, etc.)

D) Ink Pug (You know I have to have something pug related! This artist is amazing, and I love all of the illustrations!)

E) Sweet Lavender Bake Shoppe (another favorite, her photography is beautiful and she just does a little bit of everything like me, she's also very open and honest with her readings, which I admire!)

5. Best advice I ever got.

I have gotten so much good advice over the years I can't even begin to pick just one piece. But I think all of these pieces of advice narrow down to the same idea: God is in control. If I can just remember that He is in control of literally everything ever, then I can really live life the way I was supposed to. Of course, I have to also remember I am human and won't do this perfectly, but I think as long as I work towards trusting His will at all times, that's all that matters.

6. Something for your kids to know.

I don't have kids (obviously) but a future note to my children who will probably never read this or know I had a blog, and might not even know what a blog is: Just know that I will do my best being a good mommy. That's all I want to be to my children; a good mother who loves unconditionally. Will I be that mom? I hope so.

7. What am I currently reading?

I started Wuthering Heights like two months ago and could not seem to get started with it. Recently I've been on a Jane Austen kick, and absolutely looooove classic literature in general. Along with Grimm's Fairytales (a book Jose gave me a while ago), that's about all I've been reading. I am looking at purchasing the Science of Baking (nerd alert) so I'm excited about that investment.

8. 20 facts about you.

I am left-handed. I love Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings and often make jokes that reference one or the other which most people don't get. I have a pug named Chauncey and he's the cutest dog in all the land. I have a nose piercing. I have two tattoos; a breast cancer ribbon and a pug illustration. I was born (as in: came out of the womb) with dark brown eyes, however, my eyes are slowly turning hazel (weird!). I love love love coffee. I'm obsessed with color and patterns. I collect thimbles. I'm a great baker but when it comes to cooking I am only good at Mexican food and soul food. I was born in Fort Carson, Colorado. I have worn glasses since I was 9. I can never find pants that fit because I'm either too tall, my waist is smaller than my hips, or a combo of both. I like to knit, sew, and do other crafty things. My favorite colors are robin egg blue and lilac. When I was young I wanted to be a Disney princess so bad I'd go around singing to birds hoping they would come sing with me (this is not a joke). I love food photography and am obsessed with it. I'm not a fan of the color pink, yet I have a pink tattoo, work in a bakery who's main color is pink, and when I buy pink things it's for Susan G. Komen. I love to make lists, and I even make lists for lists. My favorite animal is a giraffe because they're tall like me!

9. Your favorite quotes.

A new favorite: "Never miss a chance to shut up." - Will Rogers
A long-time favorite: "Embrace the current season of your life." - Gabrielle Blair
A few more simple ones: "It is what it is." "Arrange whatever pieces comes your way."
One more: "Faith in God includes faith in His timing." - Neal A. Maxwell

10. What are you afraid of.

There are a lot of things I'm afraid of. There are more natural things like spiders and tornadoes, etc. I've also, as of late, have become irrationally afraid of dying. I'm not sure where this stems from, and it's nothing I can really control. I become incredibly anxious when I think about dying before I live the life I want to live. I don't want to go out of this world without having made an impact on someone's life or lives. I don't want to leave without experiencing everything I can experience. I know, though, that God takes us when He thinks we need to go, so I have to remember that when the times comes, there's a reason for it. It's just a scary feeling to not have control over something so big, but it's also a reminder that I'm not in control of something so powerful as death itself.

11. Your pet hates.

Does this mean the things my pet does that I hate? I used to get worked up about what my dog did, but I've mostly let go of these habits that pugs have. One thing that can irritate me very easily is when he has to smack his lips to swallow water or has drooled in his sleep. It's hilarious but if I'm tired or irritable, it can drive me nuts! Other than that and him cleaning his butt in front of guests, he's just a dog with doggy habits.

12. What are your worst habits?

a) Talking too much is one of the habits I have that annoys even myself. I'm working on listening more but it is what it is. I've always been one to talk more, and I've learned that I can't beat myself up about it anymore. b) Over-commiting is another bad one. I tend to think I have plenty of time to do things when I really don't. It's not because I don't want to disappoint anyone, it's mainly because I have a really bad perception of time. I'm working on that, too. c) Trying to act cool is another one I'm working on. This causes me problems, because in order to "act cool" I tend to be very catty and rude. I'm getting tired of being so sassy, so I'm working on just shrugging things off when someone says something sarcastic instead of coming back with a mean retort. d) Getting angry over other people's actions. Truthfully it's none of my business what people do, but I get worked up about little things, and then before I know it, I hate humans and don't want to talk to anyone ever again. I am working on accepting others for who they are in their entirety and just being happy with life. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. :)

Thanks for reading, feel free to respond with a similar experience, or just something you liked about this post! I always love reader/writer interaction!

Mid-April Update

Hello all! A little mid-month update for you!

Work

As you all saw last week, I've been hired on as a full time baker and decorator at Gigi's Cupcakes here in Norman. I love love love my job so much that waking up at 5 am doesn't even bother me. As a matter of fact, this upcoming weekend I have to wake up at 4 am to be at work by 5 am, and I'm still not upset. It's Easter weekend, so it's going to be craaazy! All I need is some Red Bull...

On a sad note, I am no longer working for Boyd Street. I'm sitting here in the office on my last day, having finished everything I need to do to transfer responsibility over to the new EIC. It's surreal that I am leaving. I feel like I grew up with Boyd Street, starting back in '11 as an unpaid intern hired by Jake to design ads a couple of times a week. I have these thoughts of wanting to keep connected to the magazine but after several weeks of consideration I've decided that my sole focus needs to be on baking and baking alone. I work full time for Gigi's, and when I get home, I bake for my blog and for custom orders through my blog, so I really don't have much time for anything else. It's one of those bitter-sweet moments for me: leaving something that I put so much effort into to begin something that has been a life-long dream. I seriously love what I do at Gigi's and cannot be happier. I look forward to it every single day! I'm super excited about what the future holds.

Personal

This will connect a few of my topics, but lately I've realized how grateful I am to be making new friends. My co-workers are all hoots, and I love the ladies I bake with, the ladies who work in the front, and the guys who work there, too. We all get along well and have similar personalities. It is SO nice to find other people who get giddy over baking something new!

On top of those friends, I have been focusing on meeting and strengthening new friendships of people I've known for a while. It's been a great and re-energizing opportunity to spend time with others who want to be in the same spiritual place as I want to be. Over the last few months I had been trying to hang on to friendships that were dying, and I felt like I was surrounded by miserable people. I caught myself sinking into the same kind of misery even though my life was good, so I decided that in order to make changes within myself, that I had to make some changes around me. It's astounding how much a "change in scenery" can make a difference in your attitude. 

Experience, Strength, Hope

As stated in my personal section, I had been hanging onto friendships that were dwindling. The last several months, I'd had a very sassy attitude with people, was snappy and becoming an anti-joy to be around. After a weekend women's retreat, I had become disgusted with my attitude and knew I needed to change something. Upon several sessions of meditation and writing, I had realized that I had come to the point where my past behavior could no longer stay and that I had to make some changes if I wanted to keep progressing. I am grateful I noticed my bad patterns and that they were stemming from my surrounding environment. I had been around people who were being negative about any and everything and I was taking on the same kind of attitude. What do I have that requires me to be negative? Absolutely nothing. My life is good, even great most days, but I'm a person who absorbs other people's emotions. So I've made a concerted effort to change my surroundings to be more positive which has made my stress levels and bad-mood levels drop tremendously.

Puppy(s)

My sweet little puppy will be 1 on May 1st! I cannot believe it! Yes, he has a birthday, it was on his AKC registration papers. We will be celebrating with home-made doggie treats and a birthday photo shoot. I can't believe how big he has gotten. It's like having an actual baby sometimes.

As most of you also know, I fostered a pug from Homeward Bound Pug Rescue. It was quite an experience. For a while, I've been exclaiming how I wanted a second dog. I read somewhere that getting a second dog as a "pet" for your first dog was a bad idea. I remembered that statement very clearly because that's exactly what I had been thinking of the second dog as. It may sound horrible, but my intentions were not to ignore or place importance over one or the other. It was so that my dog wouldn't be so bored all the time. So I decided, very irrationally, to apply to foster a dog. 3 days after starting my new full-time job. Needless to say that it was a very stressful two weeks for me and probably also Jose.

We got to foster Yoda, a sweet young black male pug. He was a cutie pie, but didn't even know "Sit" or "Bed." Chauncey and Yoda loved each other, though, and played all day, every day. I taught Yoda a few simple commands in preperation of him being adopted. My experience with fostering was not easy, but I was glad I could help out the pug rescue, and I know that if Yoda would've stuck around a few more weeks, it would've eventually been pretty easy to have two dogs. Fostering is hard emotionally and physically. It's like having a new puppy, except they're fully grown. When a dog comes to a new home, they aren't used to your surroundings or your daily schedule, just like a puppy. So you have to be patient with them, and teach them where to go potty, when it's time to eat, when it's time for bed, etc. Yoda caught on pretty quick, but we only had him for two weeks, which is definitely not enough time with a foster to get them acclimated to your home. Yoda got adopted by a very sweet woman and man who owned another black pug. They were excited to get him, so I hope his future will be nothing but lap naps and lots of treats!

Health & Exercise

I miss yoga. I have not been able to make it as often as I used to due to my new schedule, but I am hoping to get a new schedule set up so I'm making it twice a week again.

I know I've said it a million times, but I am considering changing my eating habits. I want to do two different elimination diets for at least a month each to see if I feel better when I'm not eating lactose or gluten. I'm sure overall it would help to cut back on both, but I think my energy levels have changed and need to switch from burning carbs to burning fat (like we are supposed to). I'm well aware that humans, specifically humans after 2-3 years of age, shouldn't even be ingesting dairy, but goodness gracious... cheese exists. I just can't help it. I could skip all other dairy except cheese (and butter when baking). Gluten, however, is a different story. All I eat is bread and pasta (I think I'm Italian, but can't find an ancestry tied back to it). So I want to see if changing my diet from all-carbs to something a little more natural will help my energy levels.

Anyways, that's it for now. Thanks for reading! Oh, and one more funny photo.

February/March Update

After almost two weeks passed the day I was supposed to post this, here is a little update on what's been going on in my life.

Work

I have three different things to say about job(s)...

As you all know, I decided to try to open a business with my friend and partner, Irene. We launched a Kickstarter project a month ago to try to raise funds to open a bakery here in Norman. The reason behind launching this project was mainly to get our doors open without having an insane loan to worry about paying back. The reason most small businesses fail is because they don't make enough to keep their doors open and pay all their bills.

Hindsight 20/20 (which is how it always works) is that I should've flushed out the business plan on Kickstarter. I also should've lowered the goal amount. I love the ideas I have for the bakery, but in all truth, had no idea what I was doing. If I were to consider opening a bakery now, even just 30 days later, I could without a doubt say that we would've really damaged our business with the lack of knowledge of running a business effectively.

I am not discouraged, nor am I upset. I think this was a test of trust in my Higher Power to see if He thought I know what He was doing for me. I was never overly worried or stressed, and I knew everything would work out the way it needed to.

My second blurb is about a little job I just picked up this last week. I started substitute teaching for NPS. I really enjoyed it and was constantly entertained by the students in the secondary schools. My favorite day was when I got to help another teacher program robot commands with students. What a hoot! I had a blast and really appreciated his friendship and him asking me to come by his classroom to watch what he taught. It really brought back a lot of memories of middle school and high school here in Norman.

This leads me to my third blurb about work…

You are now looking at a full-time baker/decorator for Gigi's Cupcakes! Yup, that's right! I'm on a 30 day (I think?) training period and will go from there. Love it so far and I am always covered in powdered sugar. :)

Personal

You know, I can't complain about my personal life. Things have been going really well. I've been praying a lot to God to help me be of service and to be a better person. Some interesting stuff has happened lately that I am grateful that I've been a part of and it's definitely left an impression on my heart and mind.

Love

Love is good. I am grateful for unconditional love. I know I've never been happier with someone and I love how goofy and playful Jose and I can be and I love how we can openly discuss issues and concerns without having any tension. I truly love Jose.

Experience, Strength, Hope

I am truly grateful for where I am today. I am glad I can be of service and I am exceptionally grateful that I am willing to take commitments and hold myself accountable for my own actions. I had recently become frustrated with people's lack of commitment and accountability for things. My biggest pet peeve is when someone makes plans/says they are going to do something and then they cancel because it's inconvenient. A dear friend of mind reminded me to not compare my insides to other people's outsides, meaning to stop comparing what my recovery is like to other people's "recovery" (if that makes any sense). I realized that it was exactly what I'd been doing and I had been getting resentments. Sure, I struggled but I was happy to be so busy and of service but I got mad when other people weren't doing the same thing. It was then I realized that I don't actually know how other people's lives are and they probably suck and they're miserable but are hiding it. Today I know for a fact that I'm keeping my side of the street clean.

Puppy

Chauncey! Chauncey might be getting a big brother soon, I'm keeping my fingers crossed on this one!

Health & Exercise

Yoga! Guys, yoga is saving my life! Yoga has so much benefit for me, I can't even begin to explain all the awesome things about yoga. I have come so far with my ability to stretch, balance, hold, etc. I am so glad that I can work at my own pace and on my own level at Ashtanga Yoga Studio. There are many things that are different about me than most other people who practice. Number 1: My hamstrings are so tight that I have a harder time keeping my legs straight for a long period of time and being able to touch my toes as easily as some others. I'm cool with that though. It's been a long time coming but I can easily touch my toes now! Number 2: I am super tall and have crazy long legs, but my torso and arms are shorter. This means that I have a harder time touching the ground in certain poses and being able to twist my back, etc. (I don't know Sanskrit of the top of my head and don't have the positions near me.) Number 3: I got a big booty and you'd be surprised at how that can hinder you from doing certain things. Like, where are my sits bones??? Hahaha. Number 4: I am determined, which means that even though I got these weird things about my body that prove some positions to be more difficult, it won't stop me from working harder and progressing with each and every practice.

So with that, I'd like to say Thank You to Alison and Andrew. To Alison, because she's my instructor, and she's awesome, and is so encouraging but patient to her students. There is an air about her that calms me down when I enter the studio and I need that at the end of the day when I attend her class. To Andrew, because he opened the studio and he's honest and open about the practice of ashtanga yoga. He explains things simply, he is incredibly talented, and he is also encouraging and always livens up a class. So thank you both (if you're reading this ;) ).

That's it for this update. Thanks for swinging by and I'll see you sometime in April!

January Update

I'm giving myself 17 minutes to type this post. Mainly so I only write about the important things going on in my life right now.

A tart cherry pie with a flaky homemade crust.

Work

I don't really have anything to say about work. If you saw my last post, you know I'm working towards opening a bakery in the future. It's been busy, somewhat stressful, exciting, and very time consuming (in what spare time I have left during the day). I've made more cakes and pies than I know what to do with, but I am nearly done testing all the recipes I want on a regular basis. I enjoy every minute I spend in the kitchen working on all these baked goods.

My new RX sunglasses and a Thunder scarf I was given.

Personal

I don't have anything positive and uplifting or happy to share. My personal life is struggling and I currently can't do anything about it. My life, the things around me, and myself are going through changes. It's not necessarily good or bad, but it is uncomfortable and I just have to wait my feelings out.

Myself and Jose at a MMA fight. The things I do for love. ;)

Love

I am so glad that today I know unconditional love. My sweet boyfriend has seriously put up with a very discontent Kelli for the last few weeks and he's been patient and semi-understanding. His favorite phrase: "Just stop." Anything I complain about, or say "I feel this way about…" he simply says, "Just stop." For the longest time that made me very frustrated. What a man-thing to say. But I've realized that it's his way of saying, "Just surrender." I like that a lot better.

Experience, Strength, and Hope

I've read something I was suggested to read by a dear friend of mine. I have read it over and over, but it says (in a nutshell) that when we go through this change, we have a huge emotional upheavel. During the process we have to be gentle on ourselves, accept that feelings aren't facts, and make ourselves as comfortable as possible during this change.

At the beginning of January, I told a couple of people that I felt a change was coming. I couldn't put a finger on what this change was, but I knew it was coming. Sure enough, a couple of weeks ago, I felt this uncomfortable sinking feeling in my stomach. I had no idea what it was, but I didn't like it. Being cooped up in your house during the winter doesn't help either. I kept talking about it over and over again, and finally realized that I was grieving. I was truly grieving the change that was coming. I wanted it to be the way it was the last 4 1/2 years, but I know it won't be. I've lost friendships that I clung dearly to, and wanted so badly to remain, but clinging onto these failing friendships would just make it harder for me to accept and move on.

I'm not really out of this funk. I am still sad, restless, and dissappointed things aren't the way they were, but I'm grieving appropriately, and I know that these feelings won't last forever. As long as I just take it one day at a time, and make myself as comfortable as possible, I'll be okay.

Chauncey playing in the snow. 2/2/14

Puppy

Chauncey is 9 months old! He is growing to be a very sweet puppy. He is very smart and very stubborn. I love spending the evenings with just him and myself snuggled up on the couch watching a movie. It's probably my favorite time together. He loves his father dearly, and I admire how patient and loving Jose is towards Chauncey. I wish I had that kind of patience, but I don't, and I really love that about Jose.

Health & Exercise

I'm still doing yoga! I go twice a week and I love it dearly. It's my escape from the hustle bustle of my crazy brain. It gives me a break where I don't have to think about my "problems" or what I believe to be are "my problems." I love how diverse the classes can be, and they subtly change to fit the people who are attending. I love being able to be gentle with my body, which is something it truly needs.

Anyways, that's my update on January. I also believe I'm taking a bit of a hiatus from Facebook. I think it's time to remove the site that makes me angry but I still visit on a 10+ daily basis. So, if you need me, message me, call me, text me. Until then, I hope your February is the best month of the year so far.