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| A tart cherry pie with a flaky homemade crust. |
Work
I don't really have anything to say about work. If you saw my last post, you know I'm working towards opening a bakery in the future. It's been busy, somewhat stressful, exciting, and very time consuming (in what spare time I have left during the day). I've made more cakes and pies than I know what to do with, but I am nearly done testing all the recipes I want on a regular basis. I enjoy every minute I spend in the kitchen working on all these baked goods.
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| My new RX sunglasses and a Thunder scarf I was given. |
Personal
I don't have anything positive and uplifting or happy to share. My personal life is struggling and I currently can't do anything about it. My life, the things around me, and myself are going through changes. It's not necessarily good or bad, but it is uncomfortable and I just have to wait my feelings out.
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| Myself and Jose at a MMA fight. The things I do for love. ;) |
Love
I am so glad that today I know unconditional love. My sweet boyfriend has seriously put up with a very discontent Kelli for the last few weeks and he's been patient and semi-understanding. His favorite phrase: "Just stop." Anything I complain about, or say "I feel this way about…" he simply says, "Just stop." For the longest time that made me very frustrated. What a man-thing to say. But I've realized that it's his way of saying, "Just surrender." I like that a lot better.
Experience, Strength, and Hope
I've read something I was suggested to read by a dear friend of mine. I have read it over and over, but it says (in a nutshell) that when we go through this change, we have a huge emotional upheavel. During the process we have to be gentle on ourselves, accept that feelings aren't facts, and make ourselves as comfortable as possible during this change.
At the beginning of January, I told a couple of people that I felt a change was coming. I couldn't put a finger on what this change was, but I knew it was coming. Sure enough, a couple of weeks ago, I felt this uncomfortable sinking feeling in my stomach. I had no idea what it was, but I didn't like it. Being cooped up in your house during the winter doesn't help either. I kept talking about it over and over again, and finally realized that I was grieving. I was truly grieving the change that was coming. I wanted it to be the way it was the last 4 1/2 years, but I know it won't be. I've lost friendships that I clung dearly to, and wanted so badly to remain, but clinging onto these failing friendships would just make it harder for me to accept and move on.
I'm not really out of this funk. I am still sad, restless, and dissappointed things aren't the way they were, but I'm grieving appropriately, and I know that these feelings won't last forever. As long as I just take it one day at a time, and make myself as comfortable as possible, I'll be okay.
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| Chauncey playing in the snow. 2/2/14 |
Puppy
Chauncey is 9 months old! He is growing to be a very sweet puppy. He is very smart and very stubborn. I love spending the evenings with just him and myself snuggled up on the couch watching a movie. It's probably my favorite time together. He loves his father dearly, and I admire how patient and loving Jose is towards Chauncey. I wish I had that kind of patience, but I don't, and I really love that about Jose.
Health & Exercise
I'm still doing yoga! I go twice a week and I love it dearly. It's my escape from the hustle bustle of my crazy brain. It gives me a break where I don't have to think about my "problems" or what I believe to be are "my problems." I love how diverse the classes can be, and they subtly change to fit the people who are attending. I love being able to be gentle with my body, which is something it truly needs.
Anyways, that's my update on January. I also believe I'm taking a bit of a hiatus from Facebook. I think it's time to remove the site that makes me angry but I still visit on a 10+ daily basis. So, if you need me, message me, call me, text me. Until then, I hope your February is the best month of the year so far.
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