What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life...)
It is frequent for me to miss something from the past. I've done a lot of analyzing over the past few years, especially this last year, about why I miss things that have already gone by.
Let me tell you... I miss some weird stuff. I mean, we're talking about things that no one should miss. For example, sometimes I miss being homeless, sometimes I miss being poor, sometimes I miss living with my family, sometimes I miss old relationships with people, sometimes I miss the craziness that was my life back then.
Now you tell me why someone would every miss those kinds of things?
I can tell you why.
They were comfortable.
I got used to the chaos, the anxiety, the depression, the constantly worrying, the lack of consistency, and overall dreadful lifestyle I used to live. I got used to being miserable.
So when I realize that I have to change things, I dread the change. I've gotten used to how I've been living, and now it has to be different. I have no control over the things changing around me but when everything is chaotic... well... I can expect chaos. When things aren't chaotic and it changes, I agonize over why it has to change.
"I've gotten used to this lifestyle!" I think to myself.
"I just learned how to react to these things appropriately and now I have to experience new things and learn how to react to them."
I anxiously replay this pity mantra in my head over and over again.
I do miss the past sometimes. It is hard growing up, but.... no one ever said it would be easy.
But now I'm learning and growing to be a better person. Now I can realize why I miss these old things, but look forward to a new future. If I don't worry about the past or the future, if I live in the present, I will get along just fine and I won't have to miss anything at all.
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