February 2015 - Detaching

Hello all!

It hasn't been too long since I've posted a blog but I felt the desire to write and get some things off my chest. I hope that my experience can help you relate and also give you hope. But of course, you kind of need to know what I'm talking about, so let's jump right in.

Lately all I've done when I get on Facebook is one of two things:
1) I compare myself with others (i.e. "Oh look, they got engaged after dating 9 months… that's great.")
or
2) I judge people for being stupid (i.e. "They believe in what? Are you kidding? That's scientifically proven wrong (or right)!"

Honestly, I'm sick of hearing myself being so judgmental, whether it be out of jealousy or out of arrogance. So I think I'm going to detach.

I'm constantly seeing FB users post photos of all the awesome things they're doing (and I'm guilty as well) but for the only reason it feels like to me is to put on show to boast about how awesome their lives are.

I've read tons and tons of articles about this effect. Of feeling less than because of our comparing tendencies when we log on to social media. Though I can always tell when a photo is staged or a status seems EXTRA fake happy, it's hard for me to put that in perspective and remember that I'm doing just as good as everyone else (or maybe even better).

On top of that, I don't want to be that person. Always posting photos of my pretty dogs or how happy I am with my face squashed up next to my boyfriends, perhaps my dinner was extra super delicious. These cute fuzzy slippers? You gotta see them. Oh, I made 80 billion cupcakes today, too. On top of all that, I decided to paint/bake/crochet/read an entire book.

I've attempted "Honesty Posts" before and got a backlash from what seemed like my entire friends list and I was tired of hearing people tell me they were worried about me. I'm not depressed, but I am real, and sometimes my being real consists of me lounging on the couch in my pjs at 3 in the afternoon with my snoozing pups. Sometimes my being real consists of me getting frustrated with things I can't control. Sometimes my being real consists of me being overly happy about the silliest thing, like buying cute fuzzy slippers.

But I forget about being real when I start to compare myself, my insides, to people's Facebook feeds. I think that I must not have it all together if I'm not 100% happy all the time. It sounds silly doesn't it?

What I'm learning is that I have GOT to stop comparing myself to others. It kills my self-esteem and my confidence and leaves me feeling doubtful and like a complete failure.

My goal this next year (I'm tacking another one on my list) is to learn to stop comparing myself, to stop comparing my successes and failures to another's, and to learn to be okay with where I am, and be grateful for what I have today, whether it be a good day or not, my worst day now was better than my best day 6 years ago.